Let me set the stage. It’s 1983 and it’s a warm Saturday afternoon and Gilligan's Island is on TV. A chunky 10 year gets up to get another ice cream sandwich. They are so good. The chocolate cookie outside and the cool creamy vanilla center are so good together!!
That chunky 10 year old was me. I was a fat kid and not because I was big boned or genetics. I was a fat kid because I loved to eat and eat the good stuff! I loved fried chicken, French fries, pizza, and ice cream sandwiches.
But growing up, everyone made excuses of why I was “husky” and it was “just the way God made me”. It wasn't what I was putting into my body and I was convinced of that so I didn’t do anything about it.
Now that I look back, the biggest problem wasn’t that I was fat. It was I wanted not to be fat without putting in the work to lose the weight or to have the resolve to not overeat. On top of that, we all made excuses of why putting in the work wouldn’t matter.
I remember on many occasions of seeing someone with the physique I wanted and prayed that I would go to sleep and wake up looking just like that. Silly how children think, but how many adults still think the same way. I wanted what someone else had and was not willing to do the work to achieve it.
I was “husky” because I had no self-control when it came to food. I still LOVE food. Thinking this is the way God made me, made me a victim and not own the bad choices I was making. I know I was 10 and 10 year olds don’t make great decisions but think about how that same attitude followed us into our adult lives.
Being overweight, brought on ridicule from other kids and adults which shattered my self-confidence and caused me to shrink my self worth to even this day. I was a victim of my weight. The problem isn’t the bullies (although we need to think of the impact we have on others and the lasting effects that words will have on someone). The problem was my overeating.
I was able to conquer the eating part and lost 80 pounds, but I didn’t do it for me. I lost the weight hoping to gain other people’s acceptance. Wrong reason. I enjoyed the praise I received on the transformation, but still didn’t love myself or enjoy the hard work I put in to lose the weight. I was still giving away my power.
The healthy way would have been to lose weight for me and not for the acceptance I craved. I should have lost the weight to prove to myself I have the power to accomplish this very difficult task and be happy with the results.
How often does this scenario play out in our professional careers?
Being a “victim” and creating excuses for your actions help you be OK with making decisions you know aren’t right or that it’s OK with giving someone else your power. It’s an easy way, but the wrong unhealthy way.
Are you eating ice cream sandwiches in your professional life?
Are you husky because that’s the way God made you?
Is your career not turning out the way you want because you’re eating too many ice cream sandwiches?
Are you projecting excuses as to why things aren’t going your way and want to catch an easy break?
How often do you do things for other people so you gain their acceptance?
How often do you truly do something for yourself?
Do you think you’re a victim, but if you really look at it are you just a result of the decisions you make?
Who are you giving your power to?
How do you regain your power today?
That’s my personal story and hopefully, it will spark something from your past you may be carrying into your adult life that creeps its way into your professional life. You can conquer yourself!
Own your decisions and don’t give away your personal power to someone or something else by being a victim. Be proud of the effort you give and ask for help!
If you are a “fat” kid in your professional life based on choices you are making, don’t complain about being “fat” while you’re sitting on the couch eating ice cream sandwiches!
Get off your professional couch and put in the work you know it’s going to take and if “success” doesn’t happen, think of all you will learn about yourself. Don’t try to do something to impress your boss or coworkers! Take your power back by putting in the work for you! Challenge yourself to overcome one thing a day. It’ll become a habit. Be honest with yourself as you take on the challenges. If you don't achieve it that day, be honest and correct it.
It is a lot of hard work but it is worth it. Own your power!
Put down those ice cream sandwiches!
